Chinese Inscrutable Advertising

OK… yeahyeah, it is sorta “Zombie Killer”/tong wars/kung-fu movie, but I ordered this!

Now, what the WWII single-prop fighter has to do with it… I dunno. I dunno what mountain I am gonna cut with it just yet. I do know that the listing was fascinating.

The lead calls this thingy a “New Damask High Carbon Steel Hammer Wrench Axe Fire Ice Army Tactical Tomahawk Outdoor Practical Axe Hand Tool”… make note of the word “Damask” [my grandma had a tablecloth that was damask. The cutlery set my grandad left me is a beautifully layered Damascene, or Damascus, steel].

Then further down the page under Specs it sez, Axe Head Material: High Carbon Steel”. Then a bit more down it sez, “Blade material: stainless steel 440”.

Of course it also sez stuff like, “dear buyers please contact to us, when buy sure good you want to type. Or leave a message you want to buy the serial number of the product. Примечание: уважаемые покупатели в при покупке пожалуйста дарить нам связь, уверен, хорошо, вы должны модели.Или ты хочешь купить продуктов сообщение номер.”… and, “He: its whole blade open front, nylon sleeve / Function: outdoor camping, climbing, mountain jungle limit, survival rescue / Scope of application: outdoor, camping, gifts collection.

This guy’s obviously down with it for sure.

Oh, yeah… the bad dog also has an “ebony” handle!…. [yeah, sure. Only way it could have gotten any better was if the handle was ZombieKiller Neon Green]

I think you can see why I just had to find out what kind of mountain I can cut with this vicious  Damask440CarbonStainlessSteel mamajama… Well, it’s incoming from customs at ISC NEW YORK NY(USPS) right now and I should have it in a few days. SOMETHING is bound to post from it.

 

Now, in my own defense, I have to say that I bought this thing at a truly ridiculous low price on their 11/11 sale. Is currently up over $21 and there’s no way I would’ve dropped that kind of chump change on a POS like this… heavy emphasis there on the word “chump”. I also picked up a small “necker” style knife (“Ebony Handle Cutter Machete Bowie knife with Nylon Sheath camp tactical outdoor combat hunt survival self defense military army”)… [BTW~ it has a 2 1/4″ blade/ $3.86 shipped]. My only real excuse for this foolishness is that both of these are mostly about trying out the new sharpening system to see what I might could do in the way of regrinding/reprofiling with a couple of classic POSs.

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